Heather is an essayist, editor, CMO, mommy, and wife seeking stillness while in a state
of nearly constant motion. She lives, walks, and eats in the greatest city in the world: Chicago.
Before the pandemic, Marie Kondo promised we’d find joy in having less clutter in our spaces, and I think that includes our headspace. It’s the last few months before That Birthday, and in tribute to KonMari, I submit to you something new: The UnBucket List, a list of things I vow NOT to do. If I have to face mortality, even in the long view, this list will help me focus on what’s most important, what makes me the happiest, and gives me permission to ignore the rest.
Read MoreIn early 2020 when things shut down, my family and I shut down, too. At first, it was just supposed to be a few weeks. No big deal: After Spring Break (our trip was canceled like everything else), we’d be back.
Of course, it didn’t quite work out that way.
Read MoreI can’t remember a time in my life when I wasn’t worried about being fat.
I suffered through the indignities of having my BMI measured and announced publicly in gym class and struggling through the Presidential Physical Fitness test twice a year (fuck you, flexed arm hang). I did endless sit-ups in my room in the middle of the night to ensure I would pass. I went on ‘diets’ where I restricted my eating before I was 10. I wrote down everything I ate in my diary.
It is a very boring diary.
One day during a miserable time in my life, I was wandering around a neighborhood store when I saw a small, gray stone with the word Truth painted on it. I picked it up. The oval fit perfectly in my palm, and something shifted in me. I realized I’d been lying to myself, lying to those closest to me, just to get through each day.
Read MoreThe cult of the ‘New Year, New You’ is hard to shake, but frankly, facing 50 is daunting. I'm not sure what being 50 is supposed to feel like, to look like. Where am I supposed to be after five decades of life?
I'm not sure, but I do know that I'm proud of making it through 2020, changed but still standing, mostly. So as I leap into 2021, I’m working less on fixing myself and more on loving myself.
Read MoreLast year I wrote about seasons of resolutions, which is my approach to adopting new habits a few months at a time in the New Year. Each quarter is an opportunity to grow and learn, and this process keeps me motivated throughout the year. I usually approach it with a spirit of renewal and change, with clarity and resolve.
This year, resolve has new meaning.
Read MoreThat’s the thing about hate.
It starts off innocently enough, the tiniest sapling. You think you can ignore it, so you do. It doesn’t seem so dangerous, really. Maybe it’s not your problem. Someone else will take care of it. Then suddenly, there’s no light. And there’s no sign of what grew there before. The roots now run deep. It will take some sweat to claim back our garden.
Read MoreDoomscrolling is SOOO July. Do you remember July? China started sending us random seeds, Ghislaine Maxwell was finally arrested (we do not wish her the best), and Trump wore a mask in public for the first time, and it wasn't even Halloween. So. Brave.
Read MoreI noticed that even though my cookbook shelf was full, it was dominated by white authors and western-European cuisine. As someone who embraces new food, new experiences, I was embarrassed by the glaring omissions of the culinary foundations of American cooking on the shelf. Time for more change.
Read MoreA few months BC (Before COVID), I read Year of Yes, by Shauna Rhimes. The premise is deceptively simple: Despite incredible professional success, the Queen of Shaunda Land felt lonely and unfulfilled. On a dare from her sister, Shaunda spent a year saying “Yes” to everything – speaking engagements, parties, working out, salads, events – and she found her new life surprisingly rewarding and exciting in ways she hadn’t imagined it could be.
I was inspired and energized as she told her story, but as I considered my own life, I felt like I was very, very far away from So Much Yes.
I said no. A lot.
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