When you think of models, what comes to mind?

Thin. Impossibly thin. Like the Family Guy joke where a wafer-thin Kate Moss keeps falling through the cracks in the floor, thin.

So when I read this headline in the New York Times: “The Mean Life of a ‘Midsize’ Model,” I was intrigued. What does Midsize mean?

It turns out that unlike Plus-size models, who are US women’s size 12 and above, Midsize models like Jill Kortleve, who is featured in the article, is around a size 10. By contrast, ‘Straight’ size, the fashion standard, is size 2 or smaller.

It also turns out that she’s a rarity in the fashion world. Where straight-sized and plus-sized models are doing just fine, Ms. Kortleve works consistently but also continually battles against the pressures of the industry that just doesn’t quite know where she fits.

I’ve noticed this trend.

When I scroll through retail clothing sites, it strikes me that the looks are glaringly homogenous. There is a little variety in skin tone. Still, the bodies I see are either shockingly thin, with collar and hipbones jutting out and not a spare ripple of flesh to be seen, or they are in the plus-size category on the opposite end of the spectrum.

Further, the women in these images are so young. I can’t picture myself wearing what they are wearing even if I love the item because they are 30 years younger than I am and 40 lbs lighter.

I know fashion and beauty are all about youth. My Instagram is packed with under-eye stickers and age reversing serums, and organic detox powders that will allow me to magically poop away unwanted weight.

I have no issues with pursuing any beauty regime that makes you feel good, from Botox to Ease-Z dry skin therapy, but when it comes to clothing size, why not show the styles on women who look like more of us? Or simply include a range of sizes, so nobody is left out?

Because the image of beauty is thin. So what does the idea of success look like?

One of my favorite New Yorker cartoons depicts a woman of color in front of a long desk of white men with the caption, “Describe what you can bring to this company.”

Addressing diversity in 2023 is full of challenges. In the list of Fortune 500 companies, there are now 53 women chief executives, the most ever, but just over 10 percent.

The legal operations firm where I’m CMO (owned and run by women, by the way) is co-hosting a panel on DEI (Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion) in March. DEI initiatives are a hot topic in the legal industry and for good reason. The more law firms and legal operations teams look like the people they represent, the better they can serve them.

But it’s more than that. Without the experiences of those from a background other than ours, how can we grow and learn? How can we ensure we’re being complete, sensitive, and effective in our roles? How can diverse populations picture themselves in leadership roles without representation in those roles to look up to?

I coach a basketball team of third graders, and I volunteered to do it for a few reasons. First, I get to spend Saturdays with my younger son playing sports. I like basketball and enjoy being in charge, even if it’s a group of 9-year-olds, even though we haven’t won a game (yet – there’s one more week). But one big reason I do it is to be a role model: A woman as the Coach, the leader – not the assistant leader or a cheerleader - but the Boss. Assistants and cheerleaders are great, but that was never enough for me, and it didn’t have to be.

I’m not a size 0 and probably never was or will be. When I’m running up and down the sidelines, cheering and jumping with joy at every accomplishment this young, adorable team makes, I am not thinking about how my leggings fit or how my hair looks. I’m doing my best. I want the little girls (and boys, for that matter) on the team to see me and understand that I am the leader, the decision-maker, the one who shakes the hands of the other coaches in the league (all men).

I want the girls to realize that Leadership looks like me, and it could look like them, too.

That’s a perfect fit.

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This essay also appeared in the February 2023 issue of FLM - Fete Lifestyle Magazine.