My kids have so many clothes.

I’d like to blame my Rockstar-shopping Mom, but she’s really miraculous to behold. If I happen to mention to her that the kids would use an extra rash guard shirt or some variety of pants - like clockwork - a package appears on our porch with said items, and extra treat or two and some paper green anacondas. (That’s a whole other story.)

I know it’s not her fault: I also like to buy them new things, and so their dressers are overflowing. Plus, there’s the hand-me-down phenomenon which means my second son has all of his new stuff PLUS all of his brother’s outgrown pieces.

So this is why, as I said, my kids have too many clothes and why I make an effort to reuse as much as we can, and share what we can’t use.

We have storage boxes devoted to this purpose and each season I divide the goods into piles. In my mind the categories are: Too Small (given to families with smaller boys), Worn Out (used for rags or simply thrown away), and Future, which is placed into said storage, ready for the day when my younger son grows into them.

As an oldest child, I was rarely the recipient (victim?) of hand-me down clothes. My sisters, close in age, were not so lucky. When they were young, one season of outgrown things were packed away for the next one to grow into. Initially, this was OK as the little one loved having ‘big girl’ clothes but later on it was groan inducing and eventually their styles diverged and the cycle was broken.

My boys don’t seem to mind or frankly even notice this, although there are a few favorite pieces they are reluctant to give up. One particular lizard-print hoodie was given to us by another family, who got it from a third. This shirt is entirely too small now but it keeps being ‘rescued’ by my younger son when I put it in the Too Small pile. It’s like he can sense when his favorite shirt is nearly out the door and he swoops in to rescue it. I’ll keep trying.

I love seeing them in photos through the years wearing the hand-me-downs: Older pictures with my big guy, and years later, the same shirt appears on his brother. And on the playground, the youngest boy in one family we know appears the next season in the same piece. It’s the circle of sibling life.

This ritual is not without its painful moment for me as well. I sit on the floor, surrounded by piles of things to sort, I’m overwhelmed by the excess. When something that both kids loved to death reaches the end of the line, it makes me pause. I hold it close, smelling their little boy scent, a little ache in my heart that they are growing up so fast. No more onesies and footie pajamas, now they want Ravenclaw T-shirts and the latest Spiderman hoodies. I sigh and try to focus, going back to the sorting with a twinge of nostalgia.

Like my sons, I have my favorites that I can’t seem to part with. A shirt from a vacation. A dress I wore when I was first dating my husband. A pair of shoes that were too awesome to pass up but seriously kill my feet to wear.

Seasons and fashion wait for no man, woman, or child. We grow up. We move on.

The toughest part is seeing their lives go by in a blur of outgrown T-shirts and much-loved pants with holes in the knees after too many playground sessions. Each item carries with it a memory of the boy who wore it and the time we spent together. Every pair of too-short pants a reminder of just how big they are getting, of how they’ve grown into boys from babies, making their own choices on fashion and everything else.

As the summer ends, it’s time to face the closets and dresser drawers. I try to keep a steady hand and detached mind as I make my piles, sorting as much as I can without prejudice, trying not to remember the origin story of each piece, the memories inherent in the garments.

I know there will be more memories to be made, wearing favorite clothes that we didn’t even know we needed yet. The drawers are sorted and close without effort, and I decide I’ve earned a little reward for my efforts.

Guess it’s time to go shopping. Maybe even for me.

This essay originally appeared in Fete Lifestyle Magazine in September 2019.