So much attention is paid to “Under” whatever age list. Hottest Man Under 40. Ones to Watch Under 30. Top Young Authors.

No offense to those featured in the seemingly endless celebration of youth, but I’m not impressed. They deserve kudos for their efforts (or cheekbones), but let’s talk about the elephant in the room.

When you’re under 30, you’re still in your First Act. Maybe you legitimately have brains and talent and even a little bit of luck, but you also have all the privilege of youth. You can push yourself without sleep for extended periods. You wake up without mysterious (possibly sleep-induced?) injuries. Your hair and skin are the best they will be for your whole life without extensive and ongoing outside interference (not that there’s anything wrong with that if it makes you happy).

You may be just embarking on your first marriage or long-term personal relationship. You may approach your career with a touch of naivete infused with the wide-eyed optimism of someone just hitting their professional stride. You can go to happy hours that start at 9 pm on a weeknight without significantly reducing productivity the next day. You haven’t had much of an opportunity to pivot because you’re just getting your footing in the first place.

So when you Succeed and make it on the Top People In their 20s list, you’ve only just begun, and you start the race with a big, energetic head start.

How boring.

Life is a marathon, not a sprint. It’s like how our 18-year-old selves longed to be “Most Whatever,” but for some, those accolades were the pinnacle of their lives and it’s all downhill from there. Go to your 30th high school reunion if you don’t believe me.

I don’t care what the Best Athlete or Best Looking Girl are doing these days. I hope they are happy, but give me a solid Second (or Third!) Act anytime.

Out of the gate of life, hurdles are easier to overcome than they will ever be again.

We should celebrate those in it for the long haul, and in my opinion, we should honor women who have made it through. Kudos to the ladies who ground it out, who have been overlooked and underappreciated and learned to work the system, support each other, and survive.

Annie Proulx didn’t find success as an author until she was 57. Julia Child took her first cooking class at 37, and Laura Ingalls Wilder began publishing the Little House books at 65. Lizzo was a band geek.

Some, like myself, have had careers that took non-traditional paths and rebounded with a passion. Women who come into their own later are out of F&%s to give. We don’t suffer fools well, and they surf the unexpected waves of life because they’ve steered through rough waters before.

Our skin may be less than perfect, and we like a happy hour that ends at a reasonable time, but we know how to do things. We have a lifetime of experience and relationships. We’re more forgiving of others’ mistakes because we’ve made them ourselves and lived to tell the tale. We are underestimated, but we are survivors. We know where the bodies are buried because maybe we put a few there ourselves.

We have deep and true friendships. We know how fragile life is, and we value relationships. We are honest and direct because we don’t like to waste time.

So, if you want a pretty face, unlined and untested, add them to a Random List. But if you want to get shit done, turn to an experienced woman, and we promise not to hold your youth and inexperience against you.

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This essay also appeared in the May 2022 issue of FLM - Fete Lifestyle Magazine.