It’s that magical time of year when mailboxes are stuffed with catalogs and sale postcards. But tucked somewhere in all of that direct mail, I always hope to find a festive holiday note or two. I know they have a terrible reputation, but I honestly love Christmas cards.

I enjoy receiving pictures of my friends and family, especially those with kids. Sometimes cards are simply photos, and that’s fine. For me, the ideal card includes an actual paragraph or two of information about the family’s adventures and activities. I save these cards throughout the whole month, posting them on a special cardholder. It makes me feel close to so many people I don’t see often or even haven’t seen in years.

Sure, some go overboard. My parents used to get a letter that was literally pages and pages long. It was a work of … perhaps not art, but certainly something to behold. It included excruciatingly detailed accounts of airport pickups, intricate craft store lists and projects, and gruesome reports of illnesses, births, marriages, divorces, and deaths. When I was home for Christmas, I’d sit at the kitchen counter, and my mother and I would drink red wine and read sections of this tomb out loud to each other. Nobody needs to know that.

Holiday cards themselves are a fascinating reflection of the personality of the sender. Are you contemporary? Classic? Avant-garde? Do you send a New Year’s card or even one for Valentine’s Day? I love an actual paper letter any time of year, so send it whenever you can.

But what you choose to say or not say in the text is also revealing. The ideal letter is funny, informative, and brief. But mostly brief. I also like to see some truth and drama in the storytelling. I absolutely do want to know that Uncle Eric blew out his knee out dancing on and subsequently falling off of a bar in SOHO on his 50th birthday. Yes, please, do tell. No surgery photos, though, thanks. Nobody needs to know that.

Mark Twain famously said, “If I had more time, I would have written a shorter letter,” and this advice should guide all holiday notes. My own letter has gotten shorter over the years, and I’m proud of that. Even as my kids grow bigger and busier, I do my best to keep our highlights to a brief account on the back of a card, leaving more room for pictures but including fewer detailed accounts of every sport, every adventure, every achievement.

I also enjoy going through photos of the year to pick a few that show us in a good light – literally – but also fun ones that capture the spirit of the year. In 2019, I took pictures of the boys playing in leaves in our yard. Their hair is Covid-quarantine long and shaggy, but they are happy and healthy and being silly with each other, the best we could hope for in a year full of such gloom and loss. A few years ago, I declared that we’d do an official ‘family picture’ shot by an actual photographer every other year. The first few attempts at this were great, but I realized

that the best shots from the sessions inevitably were of the boys goofing off and being silly brothers. That’s what everyone wants to see anyway.

Our 2021 card features my family on vacation this year, more composed than usual but still casual. We’re standing in the sand during a family trip to Florida last spring; we are tan (one child has a mildly sunburned face, please forgive me) and rested and imperfect and yet perfect.

When I wrote the paragraph about our year, I thought about that lengthy Christmas Chronicle letter. In hindsight, I believe we judged it too harshly. I hope the author found real joy in the writing of that annual account, in all its gory detail, just as I do when reviewing photos of the year that was.

After all, the sentiment of wishing happy holidays full of peace and joy should refer to the senders as well as the receivers of the posts.

So when you get my card, know I kept it light and edited just enough to be accurate. I also didn’t tell you about that time I backed into the closed garage door from the inside. Nobody needs to know that.

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This essay also appeared in the December 2021 issue of FLM - Fete Lifestyle Magazine.